What Doesn't Belong

Before I begin, I would like to personally thank all my lovely readers/subscribers for their support in getting our Facebook page to 100 likes. Three months ago, I didn't even know I would become a blogger, but here we are. So thank you to everyone for your wonderful support! You remind me why I love writing.

Now, to this week's blog...


If you've ever played the game What Doesn't Belong, you'll know that nobody likes the item/object that stands out of the pack. Let's use an example:- an apple, an orange, a mango and a carrot. Clearly, the item that doesn't belong is the carrot. It's not a fruit. So you would immediately cross it out, and treat it like a lesser item, just because it doesn't fit into the category you're looking at. 

Truth is, if you had that item in another game, you'd treat it differently. If the choices were a carrot, a cucumber, a lettuce and an apple, it would be the apple that was crossed out. Again, you think of it as a lesser object. Like it's not worth as much as the other things. Hence, we're taught to judge things by what they're surrounded by; and no one likes the one that doesn't fit, because it seems wrong.

It's the same with people. We're so quick to judge others by their personalities or looks, we don't even consider that they have something wonderful to offer the world. However, this world would be dead boring if it was full of one type of person. Even worse, we wouldn't have the professional, artistic and cultural diversity that we celebrate today. Basically, the world would be completely out of balance. But how do you know where you belong? How do you figure out where you fit into the equation?

It's a common fact that people want to belong. It's totally natural to want to fit in somewhere. It's human nature. We need to feel like we have a place in the world; a purpose, and people that love us just for being us. The problem with this, however, is that we're taught to fit the mould. We're taught that we need to be a certain way to fit in. You go through school either forcing yourself into a social group you don't belong in, or suffer loneliness for not accepting the ideology. I was in the former category for a long time. And it's not because the people I grouped with were bad people; we were just different. They were apples and I was the carrot. Of course, I needed to belong, so I sucked it up and ignored it. Instead of accepting what I knew to be true and moving on, I tried to conform to what I thought I needed to be. This all happened because I didn't let myself be who I was.

If you're someone who is struggling with this right now, I have some great news for you. There are people out there who will accept and love you for everything you are. It won't be easy, I'll tell you right now. I had to spend a fair bit of time alone before I found where I belonged. But that's okay, because once you do, you'll wish you'd done it earlier.

Everyone is born with a unique set of personality traits, skills, talents and characteristics. It's those things, plus your life experience and attitude that will make you who you are. It can be really hard to figure out how to fit all of that into your own little slice of the world. But you are the only you there will ever be, and when you spend your life trying to fit someone else's shoes, you'll never feel good enough. Just like the carrot will never be a fruit, no matter how long it hangs around in the fruit basket. Dress it up any way you like; it's still a carrot. You'll know, because you won't feel right; something about it will never sit comfortably with you. So why try to be a fruit when you were born a vegetable? It's simple: you want to belong. I hear you. I do. Please bear with me. I found this poem on a Facebook meme that really got me thinking. It goes like this:

She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid,
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by...
And never knew.

There are people out there literally searching for someone they can relate to. Someone like you! (seriously). But we're all walking around with these masks on our true personalities, too scared to cause a commotion. We're so scared of being different that we'd rather live our lives halfway. Please, if you get nothing else from this blog, get this: walking alone is never as lonely as being alone in a crowd. What do I mean? You can spend all your time being a carrot in the fruit basket, a writer in a science course, or an athlete in a business suit; but you'll feel lonelier doing that, than just being yourself. Naturally, it's easier to just go with the flow. I get it. But you only get one shot at life, so wouldn't it be worth finding out?

You owe it to yourself -- and your creator -- to use what you have and make the best of it. Just quit trying to be something else. If you were meant to be an apple, you would be an apple! It's like a car trying to be a truck. It wasn't made to be a truck; it was made to be a car. If the maker of the car wanted it to work like a truck, they would've just made a truck. If God wanted you to be like them, He would've made you like them. So instead of feeling 'less' than the people around you because you're different, you should feel all the more unique. Just because you don't fit into their category, doesn't mean there isn't a place where you will fit in.

Clearly, it takes a bit of bravery to leave the fruit pile and find your vegies. There will always be the fear of failure, the fear of disappointment, and of course - loneliness. And it very well could be lonely for a while. But at the end of the day, you'll find your way to the right people, the right friends, and the right career. You'll be happy, because the people around you will understand you, and relate to your interests. They will appreciate everything you are, and you'll never feel like you don't belong again. You really have more to lose by not doing it.


Thank you for reading this week's blog. I hope you all enjoyed it. Feel free to add suggestions, feedback and comments below this blog. Alternatively, you can post them to the official Facebook page, at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot.