We've all heard the expression, but putting it into action is an entirely different matter. Because when you're in the middle of a huge assignment/ fitness challenge/ project etc., the last thing you want to do is work hard; especially if you've been working hard on it for the last few weeks. You're probably dying to have a break; to relax, or go on a holiday someplace where you don't have to think about it. Why? Because you're exhausted by now. You've passed the initial excitement phase, and your enthusiasm is probably long gone. By now you're thinking please hurry up and be over, so I never have to face you again. Or something to that effect. Right?
We've all been there, believe me. I'm pretty motivated when it comes to writing, but I get sick of it sometimes, too. There will be times in life when you just don't feel like doing it, no matter how passionate you are about it. I think it's important that we prepare ourselves for this.
A lot of people think badly of themselves when they start losing motivation. You start thinking of all the time you're wasting, how slow you're moving, and how many people are going to be ahead of you. But it's totally natural to have a break. If anything, I think it's absolutely necessary. If you stare at a computer screen for hours on end, train for ridiculous blocks of time, or practise your instrument all day long, you start to drive yourself crazy. You also aren't really enjoying life. Of course, sometimes it's necessary to practise for a long period of time, but you're still human. You need a break. That's not the problem here.
The problem comes when a break turns into forever. All good things are best in moderation. And, like all good things, breaks are also good in moderation. When your break turns into a six-hour YouTube sesh, you're outdoing it. If that helps you relax, then fine. But I know first-hand that once I pass a certain time limit (usually about 20 mins), I start to lose interest, motivation and track of time. This is dangerous, because you get so comfortable, you don't want to get back into work-mode. Hence why short breaks are always better. If you're not good at keeping them short, use a timer. There is no excuse. Have breaks, but don't trust yourself too much. Things that lie stagnant, want to stay stagnant. An alarm will pull you out of it and keep you on-track.
I know a lot of my readers are either in high school or Uni/TAFE. Even if you're not, you've either been through this, or you eventually will. And you'll know how hard it is to stay motivated. What I've learned from my own school & Uni experiences, is that the hardest things to do are the things most worth doing. No one promised life would be easy. But I've never heard of anyone succeeding without hard work. I'm not talking about fame, because a lot of stupid people who did nothing amazing, are famous for... Well, no one really knows. What I'm talking about is real success. The people who started with nothing and made something out of it. So there's got to be a compromise somewhere, right? It doesn't just happen. If it did, everyone could make it, easily. We've got to be realistic.
Everyone wants to be successful, to leave something valuable behind; something that makes a mark on the world in some way. Whatever that thing is depends on who you are. We all have dreams and ambitions. The difference between the people who achieve success, and those who don't, is one thing. Hard work. That's it. There's no big secret, no 10-step formula for success. You can read all the self-help books in the world, but if you don't take action towards making your dreams more than dreams, you'll never make it. Hard work is the only way.
The funny thing is that it's so easy to spit the phrase out, but so hard to actually do it when the pressure comes. You start to get overwhelmed, stressed and frustrated. You feel like you can't breathe, or that it's all too much. Doubt has a funny way of creeping into the midst of it all. This is where you start to weigh up the possibilities, and you question if it's even worth what you're going through right now. The hard fact about life is that this is your biggest test. Although you're restless and don't want to go on, you can't win the race unless you put your last ounce of energy into that final stretch. Your muscles will burn the most right then, but you know you can't come first unless you push through the pain and go on.
It's the same with any type of race. It's going to burn, I can tell you that now. Your mind and/or body will be begging you to stop. But you can't. This is exactly when you need to remember how far you've come, and why you're doing it. The latter is extremely important. You can get so caught up in the stress of it all, that you lose sight of why you started working towards your goal in the first place. So take the time to refocus your attention to that. It will help, because you'll remember where you started, and remind yourself why you never want to go back to that. On top of all that, you'll realise just how far you've come, and why it's still worth fighting for.
It might even take longer than you originally planned, but never let that throw you off. Everyone has to face their own share of bumps along the road. Just think of them as stepping stones. And remember, as long as you're always moving, you're on the right track. Every step forward is a step in the right direction. It can be really frustrating to wait, especially when the people around seem to be fast-tracking while you're stuck in the slow lane. Just remember the tortoise and the hare. There's more than one way to win.
Just don't give up. You'll regret it more than any detour or traffic jam along the way. And remember, hard work really does pay off. The satisfaction at the end of the race will surpass any of the pain, stress and frustration you went through to get it.
Just keep going, and you'll get there. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen a snail give up? He knows where he's going, and he knows as long as he keeps moving in his desired direction, he will eventually make it. He doesn't think about how long it's going to take him. He just keeps moving. So keep moving.
When you find your passion, that in itself is worth fighting for. No one else can do what you were made to do. Don't throw that away just because you're passing through a storm. No matter how bad it is, it will always pass.
Thursday 19 September 2013
Thursday 12 September 2013
Pinkie Promise
"I've got your back."
It's a phrase we've all heard, probably more than once. Unfortunately, that's as far as it goes most of the time, because it's always easy to make promises when you're on a high. Realistically, we've all been a part of it, so there's no sense in being judgmental over it. We are human, and we need to accept that we aren't perfect, and neither are our friends. Sometimes people will make promises that they won't keep; it's life.
So what, right? What's the big deal, anyhow? If everyone does it, then it's not really worth mulling over. But that's the point. We think just because 'everyone else' does things, that it excuses us for doing it, too. It's the same with promises. I've learned a lot about friendship in the last couple of years, and I know how much it sucks when you're on the receiving end of this.
There's a great quote that makes me nod every time I read it. It says: "It's very easy to say 'busy' when someone needs you, but it's very hard to hear 'busy' when you need someone."
Is it not the truest thing you've ever heard?
It always seems like when you need people the most, they aren't there. Then you realise that you do the same thing to others. The point is, I don't think we take our promises seriously enough. And we don't realise it until we're the ones copping it.
Telling someone that you've 'got their back' gives you a really big responsibility; and one day, they're going to need it. Humans were made to live together, support each other, and show each other care, love and friendship. It's as basic a need as water. That's why it's so important to take our promises seriously. People will rely on you to come through on your promises eventually.
I think the real problem with keeping promises is the way we perceive them. Allow me to explain this: when someone makes you a promise, you probably don't think much of it for a while. Then something happens, and you realise you need them. Let's be clear. Promises mean different things to different people, depending on their personal needs. For example, to some people, support could mean something as simple as a good conversation. For others, it means taking them out and spoiling them for a day (mostly girls;)), or just shouting them lunch. The point is, we all have our own definition of what support means to us.
My definition of support has always been based around having a friend who I could talk to, because I learned quickly that those kinds of friends are hard to find. But my definition of support will probably differ from yours, and that's okay. Everyone has their own needs. They're generally shaped by something lacking in your life, your life experiences; and/or your view of the world and what's important. I realise this is getting a little deep, but it's important to understand these things. Basically, you need to appreciate that not everyone thinks the same way that you think. Therefore, their needs will be different, too. Don't expect people to be like you.
We also forget that other peoples' needs are just as important as our own. Everyone wants to feel like someone hears them, like they're not alone in whatever they're going through. But it's so easy to become insensitive when it's someone else. Because it isn't you. And I think part of the reason karma comes back around, is to remind us what it feels like when we're in the lower position. It's telling us to remember what that feels like, and not forget about others when they're feeling low. This all comes back to the idea of basic human needs.
Life is about give and take. And, like all good things, it's best in moderation. Don't expect to take your whole life without having to give. So remember, they need you just as much as you need them. Don't think it won't happen, because you'd be surprised at how soon you'll need someone to be there for you, too. And in all truthfulness, you really don't know what people are going through. Even if they fill you in, you can't really know how they feel unless you've been in the same situation. The best you can do is just be there for them. You could be the person to stop someone from making a really damaging decision, or just brighten their day. And you know they'll do the same for you when you need it. Trust me, they'll respect you for it.
And if you already know you won't be able to offer them that support, don't make the promise. Don't get yourself into a position where you'll lose the trust with people you love and care about. You'll hurt them more making a false promise than you would just staying out of it in the first place.
How do you know when you won't be able to go through with a promise?
You'll know you're not really dedicated to a promise if:
a) you're looking at your timetable before agreeing,
b) if you have to 'get back to them', or
c) if you hesitate.
It's that simple.
If you have to think about whether or not to help someone, then you probably didn't want to in the first place. And if you're not in it 100%, then you're better off leaving it alone. How do you do this? Be honest with yourself. Whether it's a gut feeling, or you're just too busy to help them out, you're always better off when you're honest about it. People have issues, sure; but they're not completely ignorant to the fact that you have a life, and your own set of responsibilities and problems also. Just don't say "I've got your back" if you know you can't cover them when they need it most, yeah?
Thanks for reading this week's blog. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you want more awesome blogs, inspiring quotes, pics, and other stuff, like our official Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot. Alternatively, just search up "Bettie Tee's Blogspot."
It's a phrase we've all heard, probably more than once. Unfortunately, that's as far as it goes most of the time, because it's always easy to make promises when you're on a high. Realistically, we've all been a part of it, so there's no sense in being judgmental over it. We are human, and we need to accept that we aren't perfect, and neither are our friends. Sometimes people will make promises that they won't keep; it's life.
So what, right? What's the big deal, anyhow? If everyone does it, then it's not really worth mulling over. But that's the point. We think just because 'everyone else' does things, that it excuses us for doing it, too. It's the same with promises. I've learned a lot about friendship in the last couple of years, and I know how much it sucks when you're on the receiving end of this.
There's a great quote that makes me nod every time I read it. It says: "It's very easy to say 'busy' when someone needs you, but it's very hard to hear 'busy' when you need someone."
Is it not the truest thing you've ever heard?
It always seems like when you need people the most, they aren't there. Then you realise that you do the same thing to others. The point is, I don't think we take our promises seriously enough. And we don't realise it until we're the ones copping it.
Telling someone that you've 'got their back' gives you a really big responsibility; and one day, they're going to need it. Humans were made to live together, support each other, and show each other care, love and friendship. It's as basic a need as water. That's why it's so important to take our promises seriously. People will rely on you to come through on your promises eventually.
I think the real problem with keeping promises is the way we perceive them. Allow me to explain this: when someone makes you a promise, you probably don't think much of it for a while. Then something happens, and you realise you need them. Let's be clear. Promises mean different things to different people, depending on their personal needs. For example, to some people, support could mean something as simple as a good conversation. For others, it means taking them out and spoiling them for a day (mostly girls;)), or just shouting them lunch. The point is, we all have our own definition of what support means to us.
My definition of support has always been based around having a friend who I could talk to, because I learned quickly that those kinds of friends are hard to find. But my definition of support will probably differ from yours, and that's okay. Everyone has their own needs. They're generally shaped by something lacking in your life, your life experiences; and/or your view of the world and what's important. I realise this is getting a little deep, but it's important to understand these things. Basically, you need to appreciate that not everyone thinks the same way that you think. Therefore, their needs will be different, too. Don't expect people to be like you.
We also forget that other peoples' needs are just as important as our own. Everyone wants to feel like someone hears them, like they're not alone in whatever they're going through. But it's so easy to become insensitive when it's someone else. Because it isn't you. And I think part of the reason karma comes back around, is to remind us what it feels like when we're in the lower position. It's telling us to remember what that feels like, and not forget about others when they're feeling low. This all comes back to the idea of basic human needs.
Life is about give and take. And, like all good things, it's best in moderation. Don't expect to take your whole life without having to give. So remember, they need you just as much as you need them. Don't think it won't happen, because you'd be surprised at how soon you'll need someone to be there for you, too. And in all truthfulness, you really don't know what people are going through. Even if they fill you in, you can't really know how they feel unless you've been in the same situation. The best you can do is just be there for them. You could be the person to stop someone from making a really damaging decision, or just brighten their day. And you know they'll do the same for you when you need it. Trust me, they'll respect you for it.
And if you already know you won't be able to offer them that support, don't make the promise. Don't get yourself into a position where you'll lose the trust with people you love and care about. You'll hurt them more making a false promise than you would just staying out of it in the first place.
How do you know when you won't be able to go through with a promise?
You'll know you're not really dedicated to a promise if:
a) you're looking at your timetable before agreeing,
b) if you have to 'get back to them', or
c) if you hesitate.
It's that simple.
If you have to think about whether or not to help someone, then you probably didn't want to in the first place. And if you're not in it 100%, then you're better off leaving it alone. How do you do this? Be honest with yourself. Whether it's a gut feeling, or you're just too busy to help them out, you're always better off when you're honest about it. People have issues, sure; but they're not completely ignorant to the fact that you have a life, and your own set of responsibilities and problems also. Just don't say "I've got your back" if you know you can't cover them when they need it most, yeah?
Thanks for reading this week's blog. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you want more awesome blogs, inspiring quotes, pics, and other stuff, like our official Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot. Alternatively, just search up "Bettie Tee's Blogspot."
Wednesday 4 September 2013
What Doesn't Belong
Before I begin, I would like to personally thank all my lovely readers/subscribers for their support in getting our Facebook page to 100 likes. Three months ago, I didn't even know I would become a blogger, but here we are. So thank you to everyone for your wonderful support! You remind me why I love writing.
Now, to this week's blog...
If you've ever played the game What Doesn't Belong, you'll know that nobody likes the item/object that stands out of the pack. Let's use an example:- an apple, an orange, a mango and a carrot. Clearly, the item that doesn't belong is the carrot. It's not a fruit. So you would immediately cross it out, and treat it like a lesser item, just because it doesn't fit into the category you're looking at.
Truth is, if you had that item in another game, you'd treat it differently. If the choices were a carrot, a cucumber, a lettuce and an apple, it would be the apple that was crossed out. Again, you think of it as a lesser object. Like it's not worth as much as the other things. Hence, we're taught to judge things by what they're surrounded by; and no one likes the one that doesn't fit, because it seems wrong.
It's the same with people. We're so quick to judge others by their personalities or looks, we don't even consider that they have something wonderful to offer the world. However, this world would be dead boring if it was full of one type of person. Even worse, we wouldn't have the professional, artistic and cultural diversity that we celebrate today. Basically, the world would be completely out of balance. But how do you know where you belong? How do you figure out where you fit into the equation?
It's a common fact that people want to belong. It's totally natural to want to fit in somewhere. It's human nature. We need to feel like we have a place in the world; a purpose, and people that love us just for being us. The problem with this, however, is that we're taught to fit the mould. We're taught that we need to be a certain way to fit in. You go through school either forcing yourself into a social group you don't belong in, or suffer loneliness for not accepting the ideology. I was in the former category for a long time. And it's not because the people I grouped with were bad people; we were just different. They were apples and I was the carrot. Of course, I needed to belong, so I sucked it up and ignored it. Instead of accepting what I knew to be true and moving on, I tried to conform to what I thought I needed to be. This all happened because I didn't let myself be who I was.
If you're someone who is struggling with this right now, I have some great news for you. There are people out there who will accept and love you for everything you are. It won't be easy, I'll tell you right now. I had to spend a fair bit of time alone before I found where I belonged. But that's okay, because once you do, you'll wish you'd done it earlier.
Everyone is born with a unique set of personality traits, skills, talents and characteristics. It's those things, plus your life experience and attitude that will make you who you are. It can be really hard to figure out how to fit all of that into your own little slice of the world. But you are the only you there will ever be, and when you spend your life trying to fit someone else's shoes, you'll never feel good enough. Just like the carrot will never be a fruit, no matter how long it hangs around in the fruit basket. Dress it up any way you like; it's still a carrot. You'll know, because you won't feel right; something about it will never sit comfortably with you. So why try to be a fruit when you were born a vegetable? It's simple: you want to belong. I hear you. I do. Please bear with me. I found this poem on a Facebook meme that really got me thinking. It goes like this:
She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid,
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by...
And never knew.
There are people out there literally searching for someone they can relate to. Someone like you! (seriously). But we're all walking around with these masks on our true personalities, too scared to cause a commotion. We're so scared of being different that we'd rather live our lives halfway. Please, if you get nothing else from this blog, get this: walking alone is never as lonely as being alone in a crowd. What do I mean? You can spend all your time being a carrot in the fruit basket, a writer in a science course, or an athlete in a business suit; but you'll feel lonelier doing that, than just being yourself. Naturally, it's easier to just go with the flow. I get it. But you only get one shot at life, so wouldn't it be worth finding out?
You owe it to yourself -- and your creator -- to use what you have and make the best of it. Just quit trying to be something else. If you were meant to be an apple, you would be an apple! It's like a car trying to be a truck. It wasn't made to be a truck; it was made to be a car. If the maker of the car wanted it to work like a truck, they would've just made a truck. If God wanted you to be like them, He would've made you like them. So instead of feeling 'less' than the people around you because you're different, you should feel all the more unique. Just because you don't fit into their category, doesn't mean there isn't a place where you will fit in.
Clearly, it takes a bit of bravery to leave the fruit pile and find your vegies. There will always be the fear of failure, the fear of disappointment, and of course - loneliness. And it very well could be lonely for a while. But at the end of the day, you'll find your way to the right people, the right friends, and the right career. You'll be happy, because the people around you will understand you, and relate to your interests. They will appreciate everything you are, and you'll never feel like you don't belong again. You really have more to lose by not doing it.
Thank you for reading this week's blog. I hope you all enjoyed it. Feel free to add suggestions, feedback and comments below this blog. Alternatively, you can post them to the official Facebook page, at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot.
Now, to this week's blog...
If you've ever played the game What Doesn't Belong, you'll know that nobody likes the item/object that stands out of the pack. Let's use an example:- an apple, an orange, a mango and a carrot. Clearly, the item that doesn't belong is the carrot. It's not a fruit. So you would immediately cross it out, and treat it like a lesser item, just because it doesn't fit into the category you're looking at.
Truth is, if you had that item in another game, you'd treat it differently. If the choices were a carrot, a cucumber, a lettuce and an apple, it would be the apple that was crossed out. Again, you think of it as a lesser object. Like it's not worth as much as the other things. Hence, we're taught to judge things by what they're surrounded by; and no one likes the one that doesn't fit, because it seems wrong.
It's the same with people. We're so quick to judge others by their personalities or looks, we don't even consider that they have something wonderful to offer the world. However, this world would be dead boring if it was full of one type of person. Even worse, we wouldn't have the professional, artistic and cultural diversity that we celebrate today. Basically, the world would be completely out of balance. But how do you know where you belong? How do you figure out where you fit into the equation?
It's a common fact that people want to belong. It's totally natural to want to fit in somewhere. It's human nature. We need to feel like we have a place in the world; a purpose, and people that love us just for being us. The problem with this, however, is that we're taught to fit the mould. We're taught that we need to be a certain way to fit in. You go through school either forcing yourself into a social group you don't belong in, or suffer loneliness for not accepting the ideology. I was in the former category for a long time. And it's not because the people I grouped with were bad people; we were just different. They were apples and I was the carrot. Of course, I needed to belong, so I sucked it up and ignored it. Instead of accepting what I knew to be true and moving on, I tried to conform to what I thought I needed to be. This all happened because I didn't let myself be who I was.
If you're someone who is struggling with this right now, I have some great news for you. There are people out there who will accept and love you for everything you are. It won't be easy, I'll tell you right now. I had to spend a fair bit of time alone before I found where I belonged. But that's okay, because once you do, you'll wish you'd done it earlier.
Everyone is born with a unique set of personality traits, skills, talents and characteristics. It's those things, plus your life experience and attitude that will make you who you are. It can be really hard to figure out how to fit all of that into your own little slice of the world. But you are the only you there will ever be, and when you spend your life trying to fit someone else's shoes, you'll never feel good enough. Just like the carrot will never be a fruit, no matter how long it hangs around in the fruit basket. Dress it up any way you like; it's still a carrot. You'll know, because you won't feel right; something about it will never sit comfortably with you. So why try to be a fruit when you were born a vegetable? It's simple: you want to belong. I hear you. I do. Please bear with me. I found this poem on a Facebook meme that really got me thinking. It goes like this:
She had blue skin,
And so did he.
He kept it hid,
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through,
Then passed right by...
And never knew.
There are people out there literally searching for someone they can relate to. Someone like you! (seriously). But we're all walking around with these masks on our true personalities, too scared to cause a commotion. We're so scared of being different that we'd rather live our lives halfway. Please, if you get nothing else from this blog, get this: walking alone is never as lonely as being alone in a crowd. What do I mean? You can spend all your time being a carrot in the fruit basket, a writer in a science course, or an athlete in a business suit; but you'll feel lonelier doing that, than just being yourself. Naturally, it's easier to just go with the flow. I get it. But you only get one shot at life, so wouldn't it be worth finding out?
You owe it to yourself -- and your creator -- to use what you have and make the best of it. Just quit trying to be something else. If you were meant to be an apple, you would be an apple! It's like a car trying to be a truck. It wasn't made to be a truck; it was made to be a car. If the maker of the car wanted it to work like a truck, they would've just made a truck. If God wanted you to be like them, He would've made you like them. So instead of feeling 'less' than the people around you because you're different, you should feel all the more unique. Just because you don't fit into their category, doesn't mean there isn't a place where you will fit in.
Clearly, it takes a bit of bravery to leave the fruit pile and find your vegies. There will always be the fear of failure, the fear of disappointment, and of course - loneliness. And it very well could be lonely for a while. But at the end of the day, you'll find your way to the right people, the right friends, and the right career. You'll be happy, because the people around you will understand you, and relate to your interests. They will appreciate everything you are, and you'll never feel like you don't belong again. You really have more to lose by not doing it.
Thank you for reading this week's blog. I hope you all enjoyed it. Feel free to add suggestions, feedback and comments below this blog. Alternatively, you can post them to the official Facebook page, at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot.
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