Everyone has to go through it some time or another. We might as well learn how to deal with it, too. So here's 15 awesome steps to getting over a break-up, explained Betina-style :P I found these online, but all the descriptions are my own.
Firstly, if you have recently been 'dumped', this list will be a Godsend. If you haven't, you'll relate to it eventually. But! that's not such a bad thing. Seriously, everything you learn from being with all the wrong people, will help you when you find the right person. Of course, this doesn't mean it'll be fun or easy, but you'll learn to see it differently once the dust settles and you remember that you have the best tips on how to move on. Okay, here we go.
#15: Make a clean break.
It's officially over. Don't lie around moping for the next month, thinking of what could've been. If you were meant to be together, you would still be together. It's harsh, but don't say you weren't told.
#14: Avoid being alone.
This one can be tricky, because usually when you've just come out of a relationship, you want to be alone. Forget whoever told you that was a good thing. Being alone gives you an ample amount of time to wish and regret and beat yourself up for whatever you did or didn't do. It's really important to surround yourself with people who make you feel good. It's like swallowing a huge pill:- everything in you doesn't want to do it at the time, but it'll make you feel a lot better later.
#13: Be productive with your time.
The problem with break-ups is you lose all motivation. Staying busy and being productive combat the empty feeling that comes from a break-up. Plus, you won't feel like you've wasted time, which is a horrible feeling on top of an already horrible ocean of feelings. Keep yourself busy, even if it's cleaning the house. You won't feel so helpless.
#12: Delete their contact information.
The last thing you want is to be reminded of them every time you scroll through your phone book. Or worse, to embarrass yourself with a drunk call. You'll only make a bigger mess of things. Just get rid of their detes altogether. You don't need the pain.
#11: Go to the gym.
Exercise is one of the best (and healthiest) ways to release the endorphins in your brain. Endorphins are chemicals in your brain that make you feel happier, and more positive about life. Plus, you get to work off some of those calories from all the ice-cream you're eating. Admit it.
#10: Change your surroundings.
This is open to interpretation, but it could be anything from rearranging your room, to hanging out at a different cafe. Don't put yourself through the torture of reliving all your could've-beens at the place you used to meet up with them. A sea change lets you have a fresh start, and will stop you from dabbling in your memories of him/her.
#9: Don't try to rebound immediately.
Seriously. The only thing worse than going back, is trying to jump straight into another relationship. You're not at the emotional or psychological level to handle it. You're only adding one more problem to the equation. And the rebound usually ends up being dragged through your emotional rollercoaster that resulted from the ex. Do all three of you a favour and keep the rebound out of it, at least until you get over your ex.
#8: Spoil yourself.
You're going through a difficult time, and you could probably use a little retail therapy. Guy or girl, it's proven to help you feel better. Screw it, you deserve to splurge... a little. Just don't go crazy with it, or you'll go broke and feel even worse. But treat yourself to something nice. Buy some good-quality take-away and a new outfit. Or whatever you're into. Get something you love.
#7: Pick up a new hobby.
Trying something new will help you move forward with your life. And who knows, you could end up finding a talent you didn't know you were any good at. It's also a great way to loosen up and have fun.
#6: Don't hate yourself.
The damage is done. Whatever went down, remember, it takes two to tango. You were a part of it, but it's not all your fault. And the hard part to accept is, if you were meant to be, you simply would. That doesn't mean either of you are bad people; it just means you weren't right for each other, and that's okay. But don't put yourself down because it didn't work out. Life isn't always rosy, and you have to learn to deal with it.
#5: Talk to your best friends.
They know you the best, and even if they suck at giving advice, you know they'll always be there for support. A good sense of humour goes a long way, too. If your close friends can keep you laughing, they're doing just as good a job.
#4: Use a journal/diary.
Write down your feelings. It sounds lame, sure. But putting your feelings on paper really helps with the healing process. If you're not into writing, let it out some other way. Sing, dance, paint, draw something. Do whatever you can artistically to bring your feelings out in a healthy way.
#3: Deal with the pain in a healthy and responsible way.
Sure, you probably want to forget about it all and live it up. Getting trashed doesn't help you feel better, and it sure as hell isn't healthy for you, either. Everyone has to go through pain, but the important thing is to learn how to manage it in a healthy way. Life is going to keep throwing challenges at you, and if you don't find a way to process pain without harming yourself, you will only feel worse. Go for a jog. Buy a punching bag if it helps. Alcohol, on the other hand, is not going to save you. Forgetting only works for the night. Then you get to wake up with a slamming headache, a sick stomach, and an empty wallet. Not to mention, your heart will still be broken in the morning. Don't put yourself through that.
#2: Cry.
It's not a popular thing to talk about, but it's really important. Crying is just your body's way of releasing sadness and sorrow. So don't stop it from doing its thing. You're a human, not a robot, and it's OK not to be OK for a while. So play your song, get in bed, and let it out.
#1: Don't re-think things.
What's done is done. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with a rewind button. So you can't go back and make it better. The best thing you can do for yourself right now, is to let it out, and let it go. You'll only drive yourself crazy with regrets if you hold on to it all. You need to believe everything will be alright, even if that's not today. You both screwed up, but you need to forgive your ex, and yourself. You don't have time to hold on to regrets. There are so many wonderful things life has to offer, and you can't fully embrace these things with unforgiveness in your heart. Let it go, and breathe. You owe it to yourself to move on and be happy. Forgiving doesn't mean you don't care, or that you weren't hurt; it just means your value of life is more important than holding a grudge.
Hope you all enjoyed it, and don't forget to like the official Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot. Or just search up 'Bettie Tee's Blogspot'.
No comments:
Post a Comment