Expectations

Hello everyone! 

I hope you’ve all had a great week. Thanks so much for your patience with my blog this week. I just moved houses, and we’re having problems with the internet connection.

It’s pretty ironic that my blog this week just happens to be about expectations. Go on. Laugh.

Anyway, the reason I wanted to discuss this topic is that lately I’ve seen a lot of issues with expectations. You don’t have to agree with me, but from where I’m standing, it seems like everyone has these ridiculous over-sized expectations of the people around them. We expect the world from people, and then we wonder why they don’t deliver. 

Let me be specific about this. The issues I’m talking about here don’t include relationships. You should expect a lot from the person you love – it’s how you grow as a couple. If you’re never working towards anything in your relationship, then you can’t become stronger. And it’s the same with personal goals. If you know you can do better than what you are, you should always expect more of yourself. It’s motivation to make you work towards your dreams. 

The expectations I’m referring to are far less deep, yet far more common. Exhibit a: A friend of mine recently went on a date with a guy she didn’t know very well. The night went really well, but she just wasn’t feeling the spark. On the other hand, he was. He bought her a drink, kept his arm around her the whole night, and kissed her goodbye. He couldn’t wait to go out with her again. The next day, he messaged her to initiate another date, and she told him she just wasn’t interested in a relationship. He got upset and hasn’t spoken to her since. 

Okay, so he got rejected. Look, rejection’s going to hurt no matter who you are. That’s not the problem here. If you put this into retrospect, it was really just one good date. Whether you’re a guy or girl, you can’t force a spark. You either feel it or you don’t. But his expectations were so high that he didn’t even consider being rejected. This is dangerous, because when it hits, it hits a whole three times harder than it would have if his expectations were lower. He automatically assumed his chances were locked in. Assumptions are a close relative of expectations, but I’ll do a more specific blog on assumptions.

And it’s not just about dating. This applies to all sorts of situations. You might show up to a party expecting your best friend to come. Then he/she texts you to tell you they’re sick and won’t make it. What’s the automatic response to that? You get upset. But why should you let stupid things like this ruin your fun? 

Honestly, I’ve gone through that exact same feeling a thousand times. If my best friend didn’t show up to school one day, I automatically blamed her for me having a boring or bad day. Eventually I just got to the stage where I realised I needed to not depend on other people to decide what kind of day I was going to have. You need to decide for yourself that you’re going to make the most of every day. And if your friend doesn’t show up to that party, you shouldn’t let that stop you from enjoying yourself. 

To me, it’s such a sad, ridiculous and exhausting waste of time. Life is short, people. Even if it wasn’t, these letdowns are far too first-world to waste all that energy on. People are humans, not robots. A part of being human is imperfection. There are times when you just don’t feel like going out. You might agree to something and change your mind later if something happens that day. Or maybe you just moved houses and your internet isn’t set up yet, so you didn’t get to post your weekly blog on time… Go figure.

Things happen; it’s life. But it’s really important to remember your friends have days like this, too. And if they don’t show up, it’s really not the end of the world. It just means you need to find a way to enjoy yourself without them. Besides, there’re plenty of other people you can hang out with or talk to.

The point of this all is, life is so much easier when you don’t live it expecting everything from everyone else. You need to make up your mind before anything happens that you are going to be happy and grateful and enjoy your life whether something goes wrong or not. Let’s face it: if you wait for everything to be perfect, you’ll always have an excuse to blame others for how your day unfolds. And as harsh as it sounds, no one’s going to care anyway. 

They have a right to not be perfect, and so do you. So just stop expecting everyone to do everything exactly when and how you want them to. If you’re allowed to fall short of perfection, so are they. Maybe in some parallel universe in another dimension, we get it all right… Or maybe we just need to accept that crap happens and get on with it. And please – for the love of Ben & Jerry's cookies & cream – don’t expect people to do things for you that you know are simply impossible and unfair. If you wouldn’t do it for them, don’t expect them to do it for you. Come on people, let’s practise fairness.

Until next week, my lovely readers, please stay safe and responsible. And don’t forget to like our official facebook page. Just search up Bettie Tee's Blogspot, or go to www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot